So Close

I've spent so much time throwing rocks at your window
that I never even knocked on the front door

I walk by statues never even made one chip
but if I could leave a mark on the monument of the heart
I just might lay myself down
for a little more than I had the last day

Wait a time
to spare these lies we tell ourselves
These days have come and gone
But this time is sweeter than honey

Never is a promise

You'll never see the courage I know
Its colors richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention.. to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown.. to you

You'll say don't fear your dreams, its easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live the life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention.. to you

You'll say you understand, you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in, you don't know who I am
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie

Pick up the phone

You know this place,
you know this gloom
We've been here before

When life is a loop,
you're in a room
without a door

Pick up the phone and answer me at last
Today I will step out of your past

"Trouble that we've come to know will stay with us"
with every step it slowly grows
Rub off the rust

Pick up the phone and answer me at last
Today I will step out of your past

Pick up the phone ..

3 Libras

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million same

Difficult not to feel a little bit
disappointed and passed over
When I look right through,
See you naked but oblivious
And you don't see me

But I threw you the obvious
Just to see if there's more behind
the eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see, see through it all
See through, see you

'Cause I threw you the obvious
To see what occurs behind
the eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy

Oh well, oh well
Apparently nothing,
Apparently nothing at all

You don't, you don't
You don't see me

You don't see me at all

Both Hands

I am walking out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan
of the dial tone again
and I am getting
nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
and I can't get through...

The old woman behind the pink curtains
and the closed door, on the first floor
She's listening through the air shaft
to see how long our swan song can last

And both hands
now use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing
graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried

I am watching your chest rise and fall
like the tides of my life,
and the rest of it all
and your bones have been my bedframe
and your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
to offer up the deep
With both hands

In eachother's shadows we grew less and less tall
and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
and eventually the landlord will come
and paint over it all

And I am walking out in the rain
and I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
I am getting nowhere with you
and I can't let it go
I can't get though

So now use both hands
please use both hands
oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried

Looking outside inside

Is this the one who thought it was insane
coming down against it all

Didn't want it
didn't need it
didn't want it

Twisted face of fading beauty
count the cost of suffering
Cannot see the day before you
only feel what's deep inside
try to change it makes no difference

Didn't want it
didn't need it
didn't want it
Let me go

Looking outside inside
craving for something
hoping for anything - I'll believe in anything
Who has eyes that see - who wants to believe?
in something, in anything? in one thing
in freedom
Looking outside inside

Set assist pandemonium - broken promises
died alive flying high - you caught me
In your eye. disintegrated, insinerated
this is not now I want to be - too much is
Coming through
someone please tell me what to do
Looking outside inside

In your room

As she falls down and hurts her head
She's lying still but she's not dead
Awakens slowly, sees a picture of herself
On the wall as she gets up
Straightens her dress and calls me up
She says: "I know now, I am whole now.
Can you come?"

In your room
Where both of you are talking
Your good side and your bad
Discussing who has better hair
In your space I hear four feet walking
And there are two more knocking
In case you're wondering
I'm still on your side

As she embraces all of me
I want her only to need me
It doesn't matter what I tell her 'cause she changes
Her mind before she speaks
And tends to talk before she thinks
But how I love her

I know there's truth for you somewhere
If I were wise I'd take you there
But I'm not, at least not yet
So I'll be watching you instead

In your room
I can wander around forever
And I recognize the color of the walls that we painted
In your chair
That I broke because I was careless
I can sit and watch you dance around
My words are spoken
I am on your side

My words are spoken
I am on your side
In your room...

Blue

I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know
Best to keep things in the shallow end
Cause I never quite learned how to swim

I just didn't want to know
Didn't want, didn't want

Close my eyes just to look at you
Taken by the seamless vision
I close my eyes
Ignore the smoke

Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
While I just sit and stare at you

Because I don't want to know
I didn't want to know
I just didn't want to know

Mistook their nods for an approval
Just ignore the smoke and smile

Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a perfect color for your eyes
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
Such a lovely color for you
Call it aftermath, she's turning blue
While I just sit and stare at you

I don't want to know

Oceans

Hold on to the thread
the current will shift
guide me towards you

You know something's left
and we're allowed to dream
of the next time we touch

You don't have to stray
tho oceans away
waves rolls in my thoughts
Hold tight the ring
the sea will rise

Please stand by the shore
I will be ..
I will be there once more

Heartbeats

one night to be confused
one night to speed up truth
we had a promise made
four hands and then away
both under influence
we had devine scent
to know what to say
mind is a razorblade

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no

one night of magic rush
the start a simple touch
one night to push and scream
and then relief
ten days of perfect tunes
the colors red and blue
we had a promise made
we were in love

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough
for me, no
to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough

and you, you knew the hand of the devil
and you, kept us awake with wolfs teeth
sharing different heartbeats
in one night

to call for hands of above
to lean on
wouldn't be good enough

Passenger

Here I lay
still and breathless
Just like always
still I want some more
Mirrors sideways
who cares what's behind
Just like always
still your passenger

Chrome buttons, buckles
and leather surfaces
These and other lucky witnesses
Now to calm me
this time won't you please
Drive.. faster

Roll the windows down
this cool night air is curious
Let the whole world look in
who cares who sees anything
I'm your passenger ..

Drop these down and
put them on me
Nice cool seats
there, to cushion your knees
Now to calm me
Take me around again
just don't pull over
This time would you please drive faster

Roll the windows down
this cool night air is curious
Let the whole world look in
who cares who sees what tonight
Roll these misty windows
down to catch my breath and then
go and go
Just drive me home then back again

Here I lay
just like always
Don't let me go..
Go..
Take me to the edge

Pictures of you

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that I almost believe that they're real
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that the pictures
are all I can feel

Remembering you
standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in
holding you close
How I always held close in your fear

Remembering you
running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter
and wider than snow
You screamed at the make-believe
screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage
to let it all go

Remembering you
falling into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white so delicate
lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark

Remembering you how you used to be
slow drowned, you were angels
so much more than everything
Oh hold for the last time
then slip away quietly
Open my eyes but I never see anything

If only I thought of the right words
I could have hold on to your heart
If only I’d thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
all my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
but never held on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
but always just breaking apart
All my pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
that I ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart

There was nothing in the world
that I ever wanted more
than to never feel the breaking apart
my pictures of you

Shape of my heart

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape.. of my heart

Believe

Bravely I look further than I see
Knowing things I know I cannot be, not now
I'm so aware of where I am, but I don't know where that is
And there's something right in front of me and I

Touch the fingers of my hand
And I wonder if it's me
Holding on and on to Theories of Prosperity
Someone who can promise me
I believe in me

Tomorrow I was nothing, yesterday I'll be
Time has fooled me into thinking it's a part of me
Nothing in this room but empty space
No me, no world, no mind, no face

Touch the fingers of my hand and tell me if it's me
Holding on and on to love, what else is real?
A religion that appeals to me, oh..
I believe in me

Can you turn me off just a second, please
Turn me into something faceless, weightless, mindless, homeless
Vacuüm state of peace

On and on and on
I believe in me
On and on and on
I believe in me

Wait for me, I'm nothing on my own
I'm willing to go on, but not alone.. not now
I'm so aware of everything, but nothing seems for real and
As long as you're in front of me then I'll

Watch the fingers of our hands
And I'm grateful that it's me
Holding on and on and on
I believe in me

I'm willing to go on but not alone, not now
I'm so aware of everything..